Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Truth About Motherhood...

The women who say that nothing changed once they became a mom are pretty little liars. I'm 20 months into motherhood and not only have some of my kid-less friends disappeared just like my once happily tight rear-end, but there are things I used to wear all the time that have been pushed to the back of the closet.

I'm not saying moms can't be stylish. They sure can. Nor am I saying that we have to now only be seen in some really antiquated view of what 'mom clothes' should be. Not saying that at all. What I am saying is that some things are ... well ... just more challenging to wear once you become a mom.

See if you agree ...

Moms can no longer wear:

1. Strapless anything. Unless of course you don't mind your kid pulling down your top when you least expect it for the whole playground to see your breasts as your little one screams "MILKIES!"

2. Low cut shirts. See above. Kids hands are quick!

3. High heels. Specifically the stiletto heel. Unless you want to break an ankle. Wedges however, totally do-able ... unless they are on a high platform.

4. Lipstick. I love me some berry tinted lips. But I don't love that berry tint all over my baby's cheeks.

5. Perfume. Honestly it's no longer needed especially when you have that new baby scent all over you.

6. Short skirts. Mini skirts + bending over to pick up your kid's lovie in the supermarket = X-Rated mommy.

7. Non-stretch jeans. You know the kind you have to wiggle into and then lay down on the bed to get zipped up? Uh, yeah. Try running after your toddler in those.

8. Things with sequins. Kids think it's dessert.

9. Pants with too many buttons and snaps and requires a belt. Have you ever tried to pee with a baby in your arms? It takes the skill of one arm and an elastic waist.

10. Dangling earrings. Unless you are going for a barbaric way of stretching to a 0 gauge.

11. Really tight shirts. Not conducive to nursing moms.

12. Hair down. You don't have to cut it all if you don't want to, but you may want to get it out of your kid's reach unless you enjoy torture and practicing face contortions.

13. Necklaces. Can be a chocking hazard for the kid and you. Also, most likely to break. Just like ...

14. Glasses. Little hands love them. They snatch 'em off your face and run away.

15. White. Unless you don't mind it being the day's canvas with stains that will never come out.

16. Dry-clean only clothes. Unless you are rich.


What items do you find are more challenging to wear once becoming a mom?

4 comments:

grandma to leighton said...

....anything that touches you anywhere on your body except hanging off your shoulders. It should drape big and wide from the shoulders down. Like one of those hoop petticoats stuck over the neck would work. It would look stupid, but, again, maybe it would set a new fashion trend.

Debbie said...

OMG!! I absolutely love your post. I totally agree your manner of dressing changes once you become a mom.

Mine sure did, I went from a fashionista to a... well, you get the picture. I totally love being a mom :)

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